


Everybody Plays the Fool Sometimes

by FleetSparrow



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 06:01:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1417782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetSparrow/pseuds/FleetSparrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>April Fools Day is tough when you live with the World's Greatest Detective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody Plays the Fool Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hawkstout](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawkstout/gifts).



> Prompt from Hawkstout for Fluff Week. Prompt was: For fluff week Robin!Dick spending April Fools trying to ‘get’ Batman. (Good luck Dick).

April Fools Day was always one of _those_ holidays, the kind that should be fun but never was because of the criminals in Gotham. This holiday always belonged to the Joker. Last year, Dick had found himself suspended above a vat of piranha while dozens of fake teeth chewed at the rope holding him. It wasn't really one of his favorite memories, but things were going to be different this year. This year, he was twelve and no longer a newbie. And this year, Dick was determined to have an actually _fun_ April Fools Day.

Dick started with an old classic, one he used to pull on his parents and any adults he could find at the circus-- the April fish. Right after breakfast, Bruce went to do some work in his study. He gave Bruce thirty minutes before he followed him up, bringing a stack of homework to hide his prank.

"What'cha doin', Bruce?" he asked, poking his head in the door.

"Just reviewing some paperwork, Dick." He made a gesture that said Dick was welcome to stay, so Dick took it as his opportunity to strike.

He sauntered over to Bruce's deck, moving just next to the chair as if he was trying to see what Bruce was working on. "Is it really boring?"

Bruce smirked slightly. "I'd rather be doing your homework instead."

Dick giggled and raised up on his toes, pressing a hand-- and the paper fish-- against Bruce's back for balance. It was easy with Bruce leaning forward over the desk. "Wow. It looks really confusing."

"Just time consuming," Bruce said.

Dick hummed and moved away from Bruce, gathering up his homework. "Maybe I should go somewhere else so you're not distracted."

Before Dick could take another step, he felt a hand press against his back and heard the telltale crunch of paper. He whipped around and, sure enough, Bruce was fish-less and giving him a Look.

Dick gave him a weak smile. "Uh... poisson d'avril?"

 * * * * *

OK, so maybe Prank One was a dismal failure, but he had others. He had a whole _slew_ of others, an _army_ of other pranks waiting.

OK, he had one.

But it was a really good one!

While Bruce was on a phone meeting, Dick hid all of Bruce's Batsuits, with a little help from Alfred, and replaced them with store-bought Halloween costumes. (His favorite was the one that had _nipples_ on it they'd got from that weird shop, because it was so weird! Like Batman would put nipples on his suit.) Dick had to force himself to stay calm all day until patrol, fighting back the urge to insist they go out and start patrol early or do a suit check or anything that could throw off his plan. By the time Bruce said it was time to patrol, Dick nearly jumped out of his skin from eagerness.

He ran down first and waited in the changing area for Bruce to come get his suit. Bruce seemed to be taking extra long to come down to the point that Dick was already dressed by the time Bruce finally joined him at the lockers. Finally, Bruce opened his locker.

"APRIL FOO--" Dick stopped short.

Bruce's suit-- his _real_ suit-- was right back where it belonged.

Bruce hummed in thought. "Maybe not that one. Maybe I should use a different suit tonight." He walked to the end of the changing area and opened up the closet.

Hours ago, it had been full of cheap Halloween costumes. Now, all of Bruce's real suits were right back in their place.

"No, I think I'll stick with that one," Bruce said, shutting the closet again. He seemed to pointedly ignore Dick pouting on the bench.

Batman was the worst!

 * * * * *

Patrol was fine, if mostly boring. They'd been out on four prank calls by ten and it was starting to get on even Dick's nerves.

"Can we go somewhere there's a _real_ fight?" he asked, swinging his legs from his perch on a ledge.

"I thought you liked this holiday," Bruce said, his voice just a little lighter than Batman. He didn't stop his scan of the city, so Dick frowned harder.

"Yeah, but that was when it was fun. It's not fun anymore." He knew Bruce looked at him then, but Dick ignored him, staring down at his knees.

Bruce spoke slowly. "Maybe we'll find something fun toni--"

A loud explosion to the east cut him off. They both sprang up at once. "Stay here, Robin," Batman ordered. "Stay until I say it's clear to follow."

"But--!"

_"Stay."_

Without another word, Batman shot off his grapple and flew off toward the blast. Frustrated and now benched, Dick kicked the roof and flopped back against the building.

"Stupid day," he muttered.

"Oh, is it~?" replied a sing-songy voice. Before Dick could turn around, something heavy came down on his head, and everything went black.

* * * * * 

When Dick came to, he found himself bound to a chair with a bag over his head and his belt and gloves missing. Someone was singing a strangely upbeat version of "Fool on the Hill", only they seemed to be replacing the words as they went.

_"But the biiiiird in the chair, sees the Bat going down,_   
_And the eeeeeeyes in his head, see the world spinning 'roooooooooouuuuuuuuuuund!"_

At the last line, the singer grabbed Dick's chair and spun him, faster and faster until it nearly made him sick. Suddenly, it stopped, and the bag was pulled off of his head.

"TA-DA!!"

Clutching the bag up to his chest and beaming down at Dick was the Joker.

Dick scrunched his mouth to the side. "Really? Again? Don't you get bored of the same joke over and over?"

The Joker's eyes flashed with rage. "NO, you ungrateful little--" He took a deep breath and sighed, smiling again. " _Last_ year, I tried to kill you with a piranha tank. _This_ year, I'm not trying to kill you at all! Don't you see?"

Dick shook his head. The Joker facepalmed.

"Kids these days," he muttered. "Look, what's Batsy going to think when he sees you're missing and in your widdle place is a note saying that I'm having Robin for dinner? What's he gonna think?"

"That... you've... started eating like Killer Croc?"

The Joker considered this. "Close enough. He's going to think your goose is cooked! Or, really, his Robin is cooked. But what's he gonna find when he gets here?"

Dick shrugged. "Hopefully not a cooked me. I'm gamey."

"Well, give it a few years, kid, then maybe. But no! He's going to find you--" He grabbed Dick's chair and pulled it up to a large table. "--having dinner! Robin for dinner!" He broke off in a mad peal of laughter, clutching at his stomach with mirth.

Perfect.

Dick wiggled his arm free and caught the Joker straight under the chin, whipping the chair around to catch him about the legs. "Joke's on _you_ , Joker! You were so caught up in your joke that you didn't notice me untying the ropes."

The Joker grunted. "I didn't even hurt you, you little brat!"

Dick kicked him. "You knocked me out!"

A shadow fell over them. "And you rigged an explosion in a joke shop as a distraction," Batman said, glaring down at the Joker. "That's not funny."

Dick grinned as Bruce picked up the Joker and cuffed him. "I guess that makes you the April Fool!"

Dick couldn't hear very well over the loud groan the Joker gave, but he almost swore Bruce groaned, too. Bruce gave him a Look, but the slight smirk on his face said it all. "Come, Robin. We've still got a few hours before us."

Dick hung back, kicking at the floor as he put on his gloves and belt. "Nah, I don't think so. I don't think I wanna be Robin anymore."

Bruce and the Joker turned around, both stunned into silence.

Dick nodded solemnly. "I think it's time I should stop being a sidekick. After all, I _did_ just catch the Joker for you. Maybe I should go out on my own." He held up his hands as if looking at a marquee. "I'll be...Bat-Bird!"

Bruce still just stared at him, dumbfounded.

Dick let the silence hang a moment longer before grinning. "April Fools!" As the expression on Bruce's face sank in, Dick grinned wider. "Nuh-uh! I totally got you, didn't I? You really thought I was gonna go out on my own!"

The Joker gasped. "Why would you scare your poor, sweet, Daddybats into thinking you'd leave hi--!" Batman hit him once and knocked him out.

"When I hand him over, we're leaving."

Dick's face fell. "Are you...? Are you really upset? Did I...?"

Bruce turned back to face Dick, a small smirk on his face. "I think I need to teach you some better pranks, that's all." He shook the Joker slightly. "I think you have a bad influence. You need to learn better material." He nodded toward the door and the sound of sirens approaching. "Come on."

Dick beamed and bounced after him. Maybe Batman wasn't the worst after all.


End file.
